The day has been diminished beyond all measure
And I am thankless in the strange work of salvation that you have brought me to
This eternal darkness of your light and cold passion of your heavens
The game of resurrection and the grim solace of grace.
By the river there was warmth and life
And the holy embrace of my own kind in all the seasons of the world
But you have brought me to
In all its pointless opacity
In its empty pain and self consuming hunger.
I would return to my own land and time
Where the earth is fertile and the seasons each have their own glory
But the changelessness of this spot has possessed me and taken my body as its own
As it has taken you
And cast your soft flesh into the freezing waters of existence.
Of all my dreams, you were the splendor and elusive texture
You were the meaning beneath the restlessness of my wanderings.
But you led me here to reveal yourself
Where you bathe in solitude and commune with the silent voice of being
Shedding your garments and wading into the dark tributaries of time
To a place where I live and cannot live
Where I have no place or purpose
No life as any mortal thing ever knew or wanted
And it is precisely this deception that is your love
And your unfathomable mercy
To lead me into this abyss
And to seal the gate of my returning.